OK BOOMER, LET’S TAKE DOWN THE XTIAN AD

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Mmeamulia Xtian this time?

Pedophilia is fucked up, sure.

But you know what’s worse?

The type of people that miss a joke and get mad at everyone else for laughing.

So this is what happened on the Xtian story.

First of all if you don’t know Xtiandela,

Well… How do I say this politely?

Idk if this is the category for you.

You should probably head out to our news section here.

Was that an advertisement?

Abso-freaking-lutely!

Buuuuuuuut I get to write the story so…

I hope you didn’t end up watching the whole video lol.

Hopefully you were distracted long enough to give me time to think of the right way to say this.

Basically, this is the Xtian ad that got everyone triggered.

Sa mlisema Kenya ina Karens pia?

I don’t get why this ad is sooooooo triggering.

Unless, if you missed the fact that it was meant to be humorous.

Time for a little history lesson…

For those part of the old Internet culture before boomers ruined it (the typical 4Chan, Reddit etc)

You know this was a reference to a meme that was around in 2015.

Here’s the definition from Knowyourmeme.com

“Anything’s / Everything’s A Dildo If You’re Brave Enough” is a phrase often used in reaction to misshapen or phallic shaped objects and is easily associated to cacti.”

Orrrrrrr…

..let’s take your moral high road, Oh patron saint Teresa of Calcutta!

I mean, wasn’t the remote also as provocative?

We all saw the Shakilla video.

Sa y’all want to end a guy’s hustle because of referencing a story…

….Which funny enough,

Is from Xtian who also put up screenshots of people admitting to it?

Where were you when it was mentioned in #Toboa along with all the other weird fetishes?

It’s a whole highlight, Check it out here.

I mean sure, we don’t kink shame here and all but.

To a normally functioning human being.

You tell me…

Who in their goddamn right mind just looks at a sextoy ad and think to themselves…

“You know what?”

I should go and sit on a baby’s foot because Moodzkenya told me to do so.

“LeT’s pUT tHe aD dOWn bEcAUsE iT pROmOTeS pEdOpHiLIa”

You see what gets me so riled up about this is that mmeanza kuleta cancel culture ya kwingine huku…

Sa what happens when Xtian gets cancelled for all the NSFW stories he puts out there on a daily basis?

Y’all know what happened with Club Covid and whatnot.

They might be a little fucked up but that’s all they’re for.

Entertainment.

Usually I can’t wait to sit down after a hard day full of writer’s block and just laugh to these stories.

To have a conversation with that kamidnight caller over how Njuguna alikuliwa fare or how Pedrosa aliachwa na bill kwa hoteli because she brought her whole squad to the table.

You get?

You see, if we want to change anything wrong in society,

We need to start talking about it more and more.

For one, we’ll be more vigilant to what’s happening around us,

I’m pretty sure a couple of kids might’ve opened up after questioning by parents…or parents became more keen with househelps.

We can get opinions, solutions and work towards a better society.

I mean, if that’s your logic as Kenyans,

Shouldn’t we take down this video because it encourages PLWHA to “start spreading HIV to HIV -ve people”?

We live, we learn, we move.

Correct me…. I could be wrong.

But my stand remains.

Don’t ruin things for everybody else if something rubbed you off wrong.

Na si nimeenda

Check out my Instagram

Jina utajulia huko.

Dammit…

Forgot to add a vaguely relevant video at the end.

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