LOVE AND LIFE- A SERIES ON MILLENIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

Baba Mboga‘s musings on social media and relationships.

So… Take two.

My cat really didn’t want me writing about this.

Little bugger went ahead and replaced the halfway done blog draft with Ns and Bs

So yeah… this wasn’t that easy to do but hey…

Settle down, settle down.

Let’s try this again shall we?

By the way, My name’s Baba Mboga and yeup.

Let’s talk about the fact that despite having all these apps it’s getting increasingly hard to find relationships and settle as a millenial.

I mean, you got your Tinder, OkCupid, Grindr et cetera out here but it’s all just sheet flopping at the end of the day with not really much to take home.

By taking home I mean taking them there and ACTUALLY keeping them till they kick the ol’ bucket.

With littu totos and diaper changes and “I thought you were watching the baby.”

Kinda reminds me of the beginning of Shrek 2.

Totally relatable movie… if you take out all the dragons and talking donkeys, the green ogres, the short kings, the fairytale creatures, the…..

I think that’s just about enough.

I’ve proven the point.

and here’s the clip byzewei.

I mean… it doesn’t sound like a bed of roses sure.

But who wouldn’t want that?

Waking up to the same face everyday

He’s tall, dark, handsome.

Smells like mint and perfection.

Legit well paying job that you can actually flex to your mama and squad without hesitation.

He’s got the zing, the swagger

No child support or baby mama drama.

He’s got money for the dinners and a shit load of wenis?

Yeah… you heard me right.

Like wenis… the skin under your elbow.

The guys reading this probably out here here looking at me like:

But don’t worry fellas.

I got you.

I got you so much that I will make this my first point.

Unrealistic expectations in relationships.

Couple goals, snapchat filters, Hollywood movies and celebrity fan pages have just gone ahead to give us the impression that these people exist en mass.

Skinny niggas like Nel and I would never make the cut.

Best believe.

First of all, can we keep in mind that these people might be rich and famous sorely for how they look or what they have to offer physically i.e your typical Idris Elba, Halle Berry.

Which obviously means they are in high demand hence celebrity status.

Watu wa business si mnajua the laws of demand and supply.

High demand= Low supply.

“Vitu kwa ground ni different.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Hookup culture vs relationships?

So this one time I’m on Tinder swiping as usual.

Bam!

I get a match.

She’s a bad bish from Kitengela, killer bod fine as hell… I mean the full package.

So even before I drop my cheesy one liner (that’s what I’d do in such a situation)

Bam.

“I don’t really want to waste your time so what’s your location?”

It kinda got me offguard which really begs the question:

What does it really take to get laid in Nairobi?

Tap water and blunts?

A mutual right swipe?

A drop of Konyagi?

Exactly.

“Why go through the whole hustle of dating if easy sex is an option?

All from the comfort of my house too.”

In a world where most of us prefer temporary convenience over lifelong commitments,

It’s becoming increasingly hard to get someone to settle with on a long-term basis.

You see… when sex becomes the basis of a relationship.

That right there is a weak foundation because hey,

Anyone with a body can offer this.

Getting to know a person before hooking up with them in my opinion helps build that layer of respect that often comes in when the temptation to look sideways comes in.

Because let’s face it.

We’re humans.

Humans aren’t exactly built to be monogamous.

But if thats the excuse you’re gonna give yourself everytime you wanna step out I guess you better start dropping pre-orders on ARVs because that’s where you’re headed.

Aaaand unless the narrative changes,

We all know how that ends.

I really wanna drop all I have to say but I’ll end up writing a novel.

So how does a part 2 sound?

Also… might drop a podcast soon enough when my numbers grow.

Join the family on Instagram and be part of an ever growing network of fellow tea pickers.

But for now si mwache niende?

My COD rank won’t get to Legendary by itself now will it?

Now baiiiiii.

Oh… feel free to check out my social articles?