By Baba Mboga
NAI
RO
BI
Is it weird when you remember that Kenya is one of the largest tea exporters worldwide?
Alafu sasa,
Mmesema mnanyeshea this 3 year old union na makasiriko hivi?
If this is the price I get to pay for a brand new Volvo,
Keep the damn thing…
Wacha nikae tu zingoo
But enehu,
The tea is here in plenty,
Let’s just get to it
Cebbie Koks, this is about you.
Who is Cebbie Koks?
So for those out here who might not know, Cebbie made headlines a few days ago after a video of her proposal went viral.
She also happens to be Akothee’s sister.
Sister or not,
This is about to get a whole lot muddy. So get those boots strapped up.
Here’s a sneak peek of the incoming storm.
Ama mlisema hampendi spoilers?
The Cebbie drama begins
So as usual Edgar went Obareing on this one.
He received a DM from a tea picker in a conversation that seemed almost too well timed.
I actually went the extra mile to dig up the interview with in question just in case any of you had any doubts on the onset.
Now buckle up you nosy humans,
We are taking a trip down memory lane to see where this all started…
5 months ago…
Let’s just assume this story is starting all over again.
It helps with comprehension. Trust me.
So some tea in this situation found itselfu in Edgar’s DMs
Some lady (Let’s call her Beryl) taks to Edgar about an entitiled ghel that is apparently the side chick to her (Beryl’s) husband.
Listen to her account:
But that’s not the end of it.
The unnamed source also adds that her husband has been seeing Cebbie for 4 years and is also possibly seeing other prominent men.
One of them just happened to be Musa Jakadala.
You be the judge of that…
When Cebbie became “Granny.”
Ok,
Can we confidently blame marriage for some of the slickest lies out here?
I have witnessed a lot of baptisms in my few days on earth.
From contacts like “M-pesa” and “landlord.”
Until someone’s hubby here came up with Cebby’s new contact name
“Granny.”
Here’s some screenshots of their breakup texts.
Be sure to find translations on Edgar Obare’s Instagram.
The Brazen sidechic
You know last week I wrote about Jada Smith and entanglements
And I really thought that these daughters of Eve and 2020 were done with the audacity,
Then I see this:
Lakini sidechics,
Hii kiburi si itawaua.
Here’s an account of the wife on what happened when she confronted Cebbie:
Translation:
Tea master….should I translate for you those screenshots because damnnnn that chic is rude and foul if that’s her you’re sleeping hungry and he’s busy buying me a car. Whose getting the sweeter version of it??
(This is responding to the blocking allegations)
Your husband loves me, he can’t do that. If you think I’m lying, try and see. I’m the one who dumped him juzi that’s why he’s been low. You’re gonna see sharing laughter will be hard in that home of yours. Your fellow woman can be your co-wife if she wants. You must learn to be humble. Even in their homestead, his family loves me. So you look for tactics that can help you cohabit with that family. And I repeat…… That man really wants a boy. Tomorrow I’ll call the mom ??. Whilst he’ll be lying to you he’s in traffic and can’t talk.
He’s walking around in this Nairobi aimlessly and madly looking for people who can talk to me. And if I’m not pregnant it’s because I don’t want to. He really wants to make me his wife and bring dowry that’s why he’s moody now
You yourself his your husband na umemdharau?? Ati you keep telling him he can’t satisfy you! Why?? And you’re living with him? Si you’re the promiscuous one, the other day ulihepa ukaenda Sakwa, Bondo unaniendea kwa mganga! Imagine huwezi nishika Mimi.
(The Granny WhatsApp screenshots, btwn Cebbie and the husband)
Yaye! Got nothing on me
Gone are the days you could scare me. Not now. Umeniboo kweli. Umeniboo Ka mafii! Enjoy your Christmas with your family. Leave me alone. I don’t even wish to see you. I thought I found a human. Kumbe I found a man who’s used to noisemaking like a woman. Noisemaking & always unalia huna pesa like a woman.
(The husband responds)
Today is 22nd Dec 2019. It’s over between you and I. I wish you all the best in life.
Picking up from…where Cebbie says she may just pack some stuff and go home Kesho so that she can cool off. What’s happened has happened
(The hubby says he’ll call shortly and tries to inquire what happened. He even says he left home to check up on her but she’s not picking his calls, so he returned home. )
Cebbie says she’s home. Then it’s like he was typing a lot. She asks what’s that you’re typing a lot? I hope it’s not a paragraph. Just let it slide she says…He says okay ??
From there the conversation switches to English where Cebbie is asking him for money.
That’s everything I think now.
Akothee gets involved
“You get a man who lays them pipes well, you will even tell him where your grandmother hides the Title Deed”- Anyango A.
So for whatever reason it did,
Conversation about Akothee came up between the two lovebirds.
Well, I don’t know what you expected it to be about but it was NOT good.
This Granny,
Is why you don’t take pillow talk outside the bedroom.
But if anything,
Akothee can get a gist of what goes on behind her back.
Peep these:
Bottom line
1.
I think that a valid “How does this text look in a screenshot?” goes a long way in keeping you off the clutches of my employer.
2.
Don’t pull your old grannies into your whole bedroom shenanigans.
3.
This isn’t even a valid point
Let’s just observe a moment of silence for the dude that got too greedy and had to watch his sidepiece getting proposed to.
Probably lost his wife in the process too because I for sure would not deal with this BS.
And btw,
Why do we have to pretend to sleep to actually fall asleep?
We waiting for the tea in full